The Perfect Stranger

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I need to write. I know I need to write…

Thing is…the screen looks bigger and brighter than before and the pages seem longer. I switch to paper and I’m always running out of ink, as if the words were too heavy for every pen in the house. When the ink doesn’t run out, my eyes are next… and I can’t help but sleep. I am so tired.

I need to run. I know I need to run…

Three races in the month of June. THREE, for a total of 25 miles, not including training! I know I need to run more, train more and take more stairs; but the pavement seems harder and the air seems thicker.I can’t ever catch my breath. I am so tired.

I need to be a better person, I want to be a better person…

I need to be a better employee, a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better girlfriend, a better best friend, a better acquaintance and the perfect stranger. I need to be so many things to so many people, and yet I am so tired.

Someone recently asked me what the point of running 13 miles instead of just 3 is anyway? I tried to explain it’s good to have a fitness goal, it keeps you focused. Well then, he says, “What is the point of traveling the road to Hana just to see a rainbow tree? I mean you are following Pearl Jam around like a teenager and BLANK says you are writing some book? Please tell me what is the point of all these CRAZY things you do instead of settling down, buying a house and you know… finally focusing on your future? ”

I stood there silent and quite offended. I don’t even know him really. Who the hell is this guy anyway?!

What I wanted to say:

“What is the point of having another child when you can barely make time for the one you already have in the other room? What is the point of that light beer you are drinking instead of water? What is the point of you acting like you know anything about where exactly I should be in life when you stand in this room at a party you decided to host avoiding your guests? Or was it your wife who decided you would host this shindig, since she seems to make most decisions for you these days? Nice sweater by the way. You do realize it’s almost June? Also, what is the point of doing the same thing every single day with the hopes that you’ll die before your well rested pension runs out? What is your point, sir? Please tell me. Tell me how you are living your life to the fullest and tell me more about how I’m doing everything ALL wrong!”

What I actually said:

“Well, to each his own I suppose! Enjoy… (large glass of wine raised in hand as I join the crowd..)”

What I should have said:

“The point of running 13 miles instead of 3 is to prove to yourself that you set your own limits and you are capable of accomplishing ANYTHING you set your mind to.”

“The point of traveling the road to Hana to find a simple rainbow tree is that I can, because I don’t have kids, a house, or some boring future to look forward to. I know that has to drive you absolutely crazy, but I live in the present the best I can, and in the present I want to see something beautiful and rare. I want to see something that has withstood decades of devastation and still sustained growth and beauty. Why wouldn’t you want to see that?”

“Oh, and the point of following a band around a few times a year that I have loved most of my life is to make sure I still have roots. It’s important to remember where you came from and what you’ve been through. There is truly no better way to remember that than a soundtrack you’ve been playing your whole life that just keeps getting better and better.”

“So yes, I am a little different. I have unrealistic goals. I do not act my age. I try really hard every day to make the most out of every second even when it exhausts me. It’s true, I am writing a book and you can’t imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give about your opinion on what I do and do not write. Keep asking me why, keep drinking your light beer and doing things your way. You do your happy, I’ll do mine. We’ll both be dead soon. Let that sink in!”

xoxo

6/3 Twilight 12 K

6/11 5 mile Women’s Run for Breast Cancer

6/18 Mayor’s Half Marathon

8/22 “Things We Don’t Say Out Loud” – 1st Novel release date

10/8 – Find the Eucalyptus Rainbow Tree in Maui on the Road to Hana

Gatsby Gatsby - cheers to my haters be patient so much more is coming:

 

 

 

Girls in Convertibles

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You know what’s great about convertibles? Having your big sister drive one while you both sing your heart out to TLC, Queen and anything else you can pick up with a shady signal! My big sis is an amazing person! She lets me drag her on most of my adventures without question. We’ve always been that way I think. I’m spoiled!

We recently took a mini girls trip to Miami and Tampa for the sake of oh…. laying on the beach all day, drinking way too much and driving a ridiculously fast car around! Checking another one off the bucket list!

Well, there was also the fact that these guys happened to be on tour…

That would be Pearl Jam, starring the love of my life… Eddie Fucking Vedder. The concerts were amazing! I will say Tampa had more energy than the Miami show but both were epic performances as always. The second one made me cry for a lot of reasons. I used to live in Tampa for quite a while. It was where I had my first apartment, my first relationship, my first real job, my first adult friends,etc. Going back there after so long brought up a lot of emotions I wasn’t prepared to deal with. It’s strange how that happens, don’t you think? I hadn’t thought of what it would be like to be back in one of my many hometowns. I guess I thought all of that had been diluted, or faded out somehow. Well, it hadn’t. Memories are always just where you leave them.

On top of that, Eddie was up there singing John Lennon “Imagine” and one of my all time favorite songs of their own, “Come Back”. Tear Jerkers indeed! After all was said and done, it was a very healing experience. It was nice to gain some closure on this city, as when I left many years ago, I was in a much different place. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to say goodbye to all those memories. The good, the bad, the vague..

People stare at me for a moment too long when I tell them Pearl Jam is my FAVORITE band. Those people are often unbearably boring and love things like…mornings. The confusion is mutual. How can you not love Pearl Jam?! Do you not love air? Do you also dislike rainbows and unicorns?!

Told this guy he would end up in my blog! What’s up Steve!? 🙂

Our time in each city was brief, but we managed to quench our thirst.

My friend and I even faced her fears of the ocean and did a little wave dancing afterwards. Tequila has no fear! Muahahaha!! Love you babe!

Our hotel was THE BUSINESS!!! Thanks to my travel agent Michele Kirsch at Beachwindz travel, we were able to get a great rate at THE place to stay in Miami!! The Clevelander hotel in the heart of South Beach. The location is perfect, there’s a bar on the roof and for all of the night life going on here… the rooms were impressively quiet!

As much fun as that hotel was, the Don Cesar Beach Resort in Tampa was a much more peaceful atmosphere and it was our absolute favorite.

If you ever get the chance to stay here, most definitely try their coconut ale. It’s one of those beers you need to thoroughly taste before you die! I take beer VERY seriously. So do not take that suggestion lightly by any means! Haha.

This is one of many adventures I’ll have this year. I’ll keep it close to my heart always! I hope you are busy planning adventures as well. We haven’t much time for someday you know, chop chop!